Funny, uplifting, surprising, illuminating...
Books and movies that have been a source of wisdom on our journey of dating and marriage.
Have a look, watch them, read them, enjoy them - and be inspired by them.
Hitch (2005)
Hitch is a 2005 American romantic comedy starring Will Smith and Eva Mendes. Hitch features Smith as Alex “Hitch” Hitchens, a professional date doctor who makes a living teaching men how to woo women. While the film offers a light-hearted albeit questionable take on some of the foibles of modern-day dating with a predictable ending in typical Hollywood fashion, it offers an interesting perspective that we can all do better with support and wise counsel when it comes to interacting with members of the opposite gender. More…
Love, Guaranteed (2020)
Love, Guaranteed is a 2020 American romantic comedy that was released on Netflix on 3 September. A pro bono lawyer, Susan, played by the delightful Rachael Leigh Cook (from the 1999 teen rom-com She’s All That) goes undercover to investigate the online dating website Love, Guaranteed on instruction from her client Nick, played by Damon Wayans Jr. While the ending was no surprise, what is striking was how the 2 main characters fell for one another because they recognised a key quality in the other party. From many of our interviews with singles, it appears that the quality of kindness, tender-heartedness ranks top in the list of essential qualities in a future spouse. More…
He's Just Not That Into You (2009)
Why Men don't Listen & Women can't Read Maps
Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps: How We’re Different and What to Do About It, Allan Pease and Barbara Pease, Pease International, 2009.
Boundaries in Dating
Some useful dating tips outlined in the book include (as quoted on p. 93):
- Some of your preferences might be too limiting, and you need to be more open
- Some preferences are more important than you might realize, and you should value them.
- Some imperfections are minor, and you might have to deal with them.
- Some imperfections are major, and you should not ever have to live with them. They are totally off limits.
The Tinder Swindler (2022)
Sacred Marriage
This Momentary Marriage
This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence, John Piper (2012).
“Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically; it is mainly about displaying the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. Knowing Christ is more important than making a living. Treasuring Christ is more important than bearing children. Being united to Christ by faith is a greater source of marital success than perfect sex and double-income prosperity.”
This was one of the first books we read before our wedding day. Short but wise and astute, Piper debunks many popular conceptions of marriage shaped by rom-coms and happily-ever-afters. Instead, he exalts the view that marriage is primarily modelled after Christ’s covenant relationship to the church. More…
What Women Wish You Knew About Dating
What Women Wish You Knew about Dating: A Single Guy’s Guide to Romantic Relationships by Stephen W. Simpson, Ph.D. (2008)
Simpson earned his Ph.D. in clinical psychology and MA in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary. In his book, he systematically goes through the Alpha and Omega of dating and gives extremely practical advice from a male perspective. He is American, so his advice will need to be adapted with wisdom to different cultural settings. I have read his book because of positive reviews from leading Christian evangelical publications but I have to admit, some parts of the book made me slightly hesitant if his message is entirely biblical – perhaps a result of my somewhat conservative way of thinking. I won’t be surprised if some of the readers will have unsettling feelings while covering certain chapters. Yet, I do recommend a read (with discernment) because of the following:
- The author raises essential questions that every single (man) should think about, in order to clarify his attitude, intentions, and purpose before he embarks on the dating journey.
- He gives guidelines for the Christian reader to navigate the biblical and healthy way of courtship and supports his views with studies and research – yet his counsel (on intimacy) is not as explicit as a washing machine manual. You have to find your own way, as every relationship is unique.
- He discusses dating with such a level of straightforward honesty that it compels the reader to either agree or disagree and by doing so, to clarify one’s own viewpoint/religious ideals.
In summary, Simpson’s book teaches the “guys” about themselves – and he makes the wise ones more aware of themselves as well. Aware of our behavior, our actions, and how it is received by the ladies. By doing so, Simpson gives our attitude a healthy gravity.
Ladies, please read along. You too will find many messages in inserted boxes.
The book has 206 pages and is divided into 3 parts:
Becoming A Man (covers among others Passion, Confidence, Humility, Responsibility, Etiquette, Authenticity, etc.)
Dating Like A Man (Dating culture – Dating environments, Asking out, Do’s and Don’ts on the first date, Navigate the “friend zone”, and more)
A Man In Love (Physical intimacy, Don’t abandon your friends, Wounds that interfere with healthy dating, such as shame, abuse, or anxiety)
